Doge: Such Currency, Much Wow

Introduction

Such graph. Very stonks. Crypto-economic behaviour has long resisted serious modelling [1]; available frameworks assume rational agents, an assumption the market disproves hourly. We propose a Shiba Inu-mediated alternative.

Method

Much linear regression. Price trajectories were fitted with

$$P(t) = \beta_0 + \beta_1 t + \varepsilon, \quad \varepsilon \sim \text{wow} \tag{1}$$

with residuals interpreted by the doge directly. Interpretations were transcribed by a research assistant fluent in concern.

Results

Within the observed window the doge knows, and Equation (1) achieves an $R^2$ best described as aspirational. Out-of-window performance is reviewed elsewhere [2] and is described, charitably, as partially back from the moon. Sensitivity analysis confirmed the model is robust to everything except news.

Conclusion

We confirm the model holds wherever it holds. Future work: such robustness checks, much external validity, and a treat budget.